What is up with all you people requesting or offering massages? If you've ever done such a thing, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't get along. We would probably also not get along if You ever wear a backpack with a suit. You vote Republican. You think Dane Cook is funny. You really like Phish. You don't like your mom. You share your penis pictures with strangers. You do like your mom, but you share your penis pictures with her. This list pisses you off in any way. You have a tribal tattoo and/or an affinity for Linkin Park. You think chubbz is ugz. You can't stand whiskey kisses or Parliament breath. You might want talk to me if You understand why I mentioned all those things above. You think queers should be able to get married and be miserable, too, dammit! You love art. Your penis picture is your own private treasure. Your mom is awesome. You would never, ever in a millionty billionty years proffer massages as a way to get women into your house. I don't know, if you're awesome and smart and like laughter and drinks and food and work hard at what you love.

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