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They always say write a list of what you want in a man and he'll appear. What you say I write a list of what I DON'T want, and we'll see if you're NOT that and we can date. Simple, right? OK, here comes my negative list of negatives. He isn't negative. He isn't a sad sack. He doesn't watch sports 24/7 and need to Febreeze the couch where he's been sitting. He's doesn't have racist pet names for people from other cultures. He doesn't eat Banquet Fried Chicken dinners more than 3 times a week. He doesn't refer to women as the ladies. He doesn't like to just get it on with the ladies. He doesn't hate his mommy. He doesn't hate animals. He doesn't drive like a drunken 16 year old boy with a permit. He doesn't suffer from mental illness. He doesn't refer to liberals as fags. He doesn't refer to homosexuals as fags. He's not a closet fag. He won't call me dude. He won't smoke in people's apartments. He isn't stingy. He isn't passionless. He doesn't advertise for extreme sex on chirrup. He doesn't have a picture from 1982. He doesn't argue about sending a picture. He doesn't have a picture of himself next to a filthy kitchen and a wet mop. He doesn't have a picture of himself next to his last hot girlfriend. He doesn't say stuff like, the file is too big He doesn't refer to himself as slim or petite or slight He doesn't have a belief in statements like, all women are whooors He's never said anything like, I know she really wanted it. He's never said anything like, I'm doomed to be single forever. Did you pass the list of negatives with flying colors? Did you mark all of the above statements as WRONG?? Well, all right! Please send me a note and a photo, I'll send you a note and photo back. We'll see if we're both interested in taking the next step, like coffee, beer, or beef jerky next to a stream. Sky's the limit!!

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